Overheard in New York

I'm glad I wasn't in the library when I read this. I laughed so loud! Totally unexpected.

Thanks to Derek for sharing the website.

What a funny website. It reminds me of the Jay Leno thing (which should be called"Spotlight on Stupid People").

Idiots.

PS: Here's another good one:

Teen girl: It was like you artificially inseminated that cannoli into your stomach.

PPS: And another:

Guy: I like Bin Laden, you know? I like his style. Nobody can figure that motherfucker out. Hell, I'd wear a t-shirt with that motherfucker's face on it. The snipers, they be tryin' to find him and didn't find shit. I give him mad credit. He bad ass.

Apparently the Brownie Fiasco was not nearly instructive enough

Before anyone says, "Clinton did it too," I'd just like to state that a tradition of bad ideas does not make a bad idea good.

So Bush appointed Brown to FEMA, political cronyism at its most obvious. Brownie screwed up royally. I'm not sure I blame him; how could anyone expect any different from someone who is inadequately trained for the job? As far as I'm concerned, he met expectations.

Less than a month after that whole scandal, Bushie is at it again. This time, it is doubly ironic. First, he just got whipped by the media for appointing political hacks to important government positions. I guess he didn't think it was that big of a deal. Second, his administration sends an annoyingly strong message about terrorism, Al Qaeda and vigilance. Truly, how vigilant is Bush about border lockdown and homeland security when he treats it like some inconsequential governmental role?

This just supports the idea that Bush pushes "vigilance" against the "threat of terrorism" as a distraction from the bigger issues with his administration's policies. It's clearly not as important to him as he'd like us to believe.

Rocketman

Elton John's Rocketman has never been so abused. I can't decide which is funnier: the disembodied head of William Shatner around the middle of the presentation or the David-Lynch-esque dancing-troll surprise at the end.

Enjoy.

Horses are faster than Humvees

I know Bush already claimed responsibility and we're all supposed to stop talking about how the G response was pitiful. I just read an article that makes the gubmen look really, really bad.

Men riding horses rode south from Canada, beating helicopters, humvees, or any other motoized transport from any of the nearby military bases. As the St. Bernard Parish sheriff put it, "The Canadians can show up, but the Department of Defense can't get to St. Bernard Parish?"

Those Canadian Mounties deserve high praise.

P.S. Hmmm.....wait, they're closing those nearby bases, aren't they? Maybe they'll change their mind and leave a few more bases open in states besides Texas and Florida for situations just like this.

I left my heart in Fran Sansisco

Dean Martin sings a version of the song where he's pretending to be drunk. It was only funny the first time I heard it. Each subsequent time, I kind of think to myself, "That Dino. He's such a jokester."

Anyway, I did leave KP back in SF. And two law firms that I'm not sure I like.

I'm a woman. It's no secret, really. I look like I woman and I do not have an androgynous name like "Pat" or "Chris" or "Terry". So, I wonder why, when I go to a firm that has 6 women in an office of 14 they send 5 men to interview me? Beyond the obvious question of why no women were allowed to talk to me, I wonder what was wrong with the other three men. They parked me in a conference room and paraded these men in front of me like I should have been impressed.

The last guy I spoke to tried to give me some interviewing advice by telling me that I should keep my eyes open and look to see if any of the doors were open or shut. I pointed out that I had only seen the elevator lobby and the conference room immediately across froom the lobby so I did not have an opportunity to see any offices, or office doors for that matter. He didn't catch the hint and did not offer to show me around the office. I don't think he was their best marketer.

The second call-back was much better. I enjoyed the people, I spoke with women, and I got to walk through two of the three floors. Although I wasn't exactly uncomfortable, something felt kind of weird about the place. Maybe I just felt weird about interviewing and it had nothing to do with the firm. I'll have to see how the next ones go next week.

It was great to see KP and my friends from Old Saint Mary's. Man, I love San Francisco.

Attack of the Centipede

Last night, Moses and I were attacked.

It was a particularly vicious attack. I was sitting at the kitchen table reading for class (which turned out to be cancelled) and Moses was faithfully sitting on the floor at my side, just like a dog. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move. Ohmygoshitwassoscaryijumpedfromthechairandontothenearbybench!

This was in the middle of my kitchen floor scampering about looking for a Nugatory En Fuego to eat:


Moses joined me on the bench. I had my cell phone, so I called KP, who happened to be on business travel in Denver. The conversation went something like this:

"Hi, sweetie!"
"Oh my gosh, I have a bug on my floor."
[laughter]
"I'm serious! It's huge! It's the size of your thumb!"
"Ok, Ok. What kind of bug is it?"
"I've never seen one like it before. I don't know."
"Is it a cockroach?"
"I know what a cockroach looks like. This has too many legs."
"Is it a millipede?"
"The legs are too long."
"Is it a centipede?"
"Those bite, don't they? It better not be a centipede. Ack! He went under the refrigerator!"
"Then you're fine. He won't bother you again."
"What if he comes back out?"
"You can just sick Moses on it."

If you knew Moses, you would understand why that was a terribly insensitive thing to say. Why, I believe KP was mocking me! I saw Moses, the mighty hunter, catch a bug once. Just once. Admittedly, it was probably an aging fly, but he did manage to snare it in his fluffy little paws. And didn't I mention he was on the bench with me?

After KP's useless suggestion, I formulated a solution. I went downstairs and got the landlord. He brought his 11-year-old kid and a plastic food storage container and a 4-foot yard stick. (I know it's a contradiciton in terms, but what do you call a giant ruler that's 4 feet long?) They caught the bug in under 5 minutes, and proceeded to examine the bug and show me the container (with the bug in it). You could see the creepy legs and its body run about on the inside of the container. I shudder just thinking about it. Albeit, the container was sealed, but I really just wanted them to take the bug and run. Run really far away.

I did some research this morning. Apparently, it was a "house centipede". They say it gets "up to" 1.5 inches. I think they need to correct that. This thing was at least 2 inches, and I'm guessing closer to 2.5. It was HUGE!

Moses and I are safe. Though, it may be a while before I stop giving the refrigerator a very wide berth.

Bipolar Disorder and Routine

I'm pretty familiar with bipolar disorder, so it's kind of amazing that they had to do a study to figure this out.

Using what researchers dubbed interpersonal and social rhythm therapy, patients were taught how to keep to normal sleeping, eating and other daily routines. They also were shown how to anticipate and cope with stress just as a diabetic who would be taught, for example, how to cook and eat differently.

. . .

In the study, 175 patients suffering from the most severe form of bipolar disorder were divided into several groups. All the patients were given medication for the disorder, but only some received interpersonal and social rhythm therapy.

The researchers found those who received the therapy were more likely to not have relapses of their illness during a two-year maintenance phase.

So, basically, if you eat regular meals, get plenty of sleep and maintain a schedule, you will be more stable. It's funny, because those are the three things you should do to reduce stress. People with reduced stress are calm and calm people tend to be more stable.

By jove, those researchers are brilliant!

"Whoopsi Gras"

Mark Fiore is a (quite liberal) cartoonist in San Francisco. Although I don't always agree the premises upon which he bases some of his humor, I do think his cartoons are funny. This week's cartoon, however, was the first that didn't have a punchline at the end. The beginning is fairly representative of his work. The partisan attack is also typical for him. But the end -- that's where it through me for a curve.

See the flash-animated cartoon.


Note: Please leave a comment if you don't think any of his archived cartoons are funny. I'm curious what makes him unfunny to others.

Judge Roberts Hearings

One of my professors is set to testify at the confirmation hearings for likely-to-be Chief Justice of the United States Roberts. I wonder what she will say. I wonder what anyone will say at the hearings. He's so "green", in terms of written opinion, so I guess it would all be character testimony? I saw this picture, and I thought it was funny. I'm sure that it was just a coinidence and a random effect of the framing. But man, it looks like Justice O'Connor has fixed quite the disapproving stare upon Judge Roberts.

---

In other news, Arlene Ackerman resigned as head of the San Francisco school superintendent. It's really too bad because I thought she was really good for the school system. I'd like to see those three jackasses, whoever they are, outted as anti-education and strung up by the media. This is one example where content is far more important than form. They couldn't handle a boss that was actually a boss? They should get over themselves.

Space Penguins

I must admit that I was a little disappointed when I read this line:

The squat, compact unit has a few tiny jump boosters protruding below and on its sides and looks nothing like an actual penguin.

I think it's pretty cool, though, to have a little robot that can hop on the moon. I wonder how they tested this thing.

You can see a picture on the Gizmodo blog.

Football!

I really like football. I like wathing it live. I like watching it on TV. I like listening to it on the radio. I just like football. (I don't, however, like agonizing over statistics and records and such nonsense. When the game is over, you have approximately 5 hours to lament the loss or celebrate the victory and anxiously anticipate next Saturday's game.)

Yesterday, as I was leaving the law school, I heard the familiar sound of the drum cadence that starts the marching band's march to Friday afternoon practice. The drums reverberate against the campus buildings and create this amazing electricity in the air. Even though there's no game, it just makes you want to jump up and down and scream, "Football!" Man, whoever wrote that drum cadence really knew his stuff. I wonder if it was tailored to the acoustics of Notre Dame's campus.

So today is the first game. KP grew up hating Notre Dame football, which used to make for an interesting game-watching experience. Now, I can't tell if I taught him to love Notre Dame or if he just pretends really well. But now that we're 3,000 miles apart, we watch games by text message. I prefer his commentary after a big play to that of the sportscasters. It's usually much funnier. For example, after Anthony Fasano made a particularly brutal block, the text message that came was, "Oof! Fasano is a load." I'm sure that's way better than anything a sportscaster could come up with. Succinct yet descriptive.

For today's football-watching fun, I shall make sausages and peppers.

Recipe for Sausages and Peppers

1 lb. mild (or sweet) Italian sausage
1 green pepper, sliced into strips and then cut in half
1 red pepper, sliced into strips and then cut in half
1 large onion cut however you like it (large dice, maybe?)
3 cherry peppers, seeded and ripped into 1/2-inch pieces
8 mushrooms, cleaned and quartered
olive oil

Brown the sausage in some olive oil on the stove in an oven-save receptacle (We'll call it a "pot", though it doesn't need to be a pot, technically. If you do not have a stove- and oven- safe receptacle, you can use a frying pan of some sort, and an oven container). Remove the sausage from the pot. Carmelize the onions in the pan, toss in the cherry peppers when the onions start to brown. Stir a bit, and toss with the sausages. Brown the other peppers, and add to the sausages. Brown the mushrooms, and add to the sausages. Put everything back in your oven-safe receptacle. Cover and put into a 350-degree oven. Remove about 30 minutes later.

To serve 'Merican style, put a sausage and some peppers and onions on a crusty hoagy roll.
To serve 'Talian style, serve over polenta, ladling some of the broth from the "pot."

Don't eat the cherry peppers if you don't like hot peppers. They impart a lot of flavor because they're very hot.